Добавлено: Ср Окт 22, 2014 9:52
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"You see" is actually perfect translation in this case. It has the exact same meaning and connotations, and has no more to do with actual "seeing" than russian "видишь ли". It is even a tad informal, quite suitably. And it is used quite a lot in modern english, so no problem there.
only he —> he is the only one who
This is a good translation, actually. Like publishing good. You've been using previous translations, perchance?
Yes, of course, I have the base translation (which helps me understand the underlying meaning):
"See, L'Anshar became Master by performing a ritual that turned him into a lich. A lich is immortal, like any other Astral Master. But any lich has a vulnerability - the phylactery containing his mortal soul. If this vessel is destroyed, L'Anshar will turn into a heap of ashes."
and the Google output for the updated text is:
"You see, l'Anshar acquired the status of the Lord, it is done the ritual treatment in Lich. I think he is now - the only one who thoroughly knows the intricacies of the rite. He put a lot of effort, sending emissaries to destroy or distort the information about it in Eadore. Maybe that's why none of those wishing to pass through it did not turn into his likeness, all of them remained on the physical plane. Know: The Lich, like any Astral Lord, is immortal. But he has a weak spot - amphora, in which he placed his mortal soul. If you destroy this vessel l'Anshar turn into a lifeless heap of ashes."
So it's not too much guess-work to come up with a better translation, with some help from this forum
"You see, L'Anshar became Master by performing a ritual that turned him into a Lich. I think only he thoroughly understands the intricacies of the ritual. He went out of his way to have his emissaries destroy or distort any information about it on Eador. Perhaps this explains why everyone who has attempted the ritual has remained bound to the physical plane. The Lich is immortal, like any other Astral Master. But he has a weakness - the amphora containing his mortal soul. Should this vessel be destroyed, L'Anshar will turn into a lifeless heap of ashes."
I'm a bit sad (just kidding) that you don't like the formula "only he". I suppose you know it is correct English, maybe too dramatic/shakespearian? The Russian version being more informal?
OK I will change it -)
"You see, L'Anshar became Master by performing a ritual that turned him into a Lich. I think he is the only one who thoroughly understands the intricacies of the ritual. He went out of his way to have his emissaries destroy or distort any information about it on Eador. Perhaps this explains why everyone who has attempted the ritual has remained bound to the physical plane. The Lich is immortal, like any other Astral Master. But he has a weakness - the amphora containing his mortal soul. Should this vessel be destroyed, L'Anshar will turn into a lifeless heap of ashes."
Regards.