Добавлено: Вс Dec 07, 2014 2:10
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When I explored a "Mercenaries Guild", the description text was long enough that the list of defenders was cut off after the first line.
Can you confirm that you are referring to dialog 2053?
/105
Name: Mercenaries Guild;
Dialog: 2053
The hero %s approaches a well-fortified citadel where mercenaries are gathering. By unwritten rules, the guild of mercenaries remains neutral - all the warriors seeking recruitment come to the tavern in the Master's demesne.
If you get too close, it will be considered an attack, and all the warriors of the guild will rise to its defense - and there are a lot of them in there.
This description is 379 characters long. By comparison, the Russian text is 321 characters long.
I don't understand the juxtaposition of sentences.
sentence 1 = the guild attracts mercenaries (Is куда стекаются наёмники correctly translated?)
sentence 2 = the guild is neutral... in what conflict? And what's the point of mentioning the tavern as recruitment venue?
sentence 3 = OK so the Guild's leaders don't like you coming too close. Fair enough, I suppose; they have a keen sense of private property. Although not allowing the Lord's emissary on their property is somewhat of an insult to the Lord, isn't it?
Not sure what to make of this word/concept salad...
My suggestion: zap the second sentence (unless I completely missed the point)
The hero %s approaches a well-fortified stronghold, which attracts all kinds of mercenaries. Coming too close will be considered an aggression, and the Guild's multitudes will rise to its defense.
198 characters.
ALTERNATE SUGGESTION: replace "an aggression" with "casus belli" (I like that term, but it may not be completely appropriate)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casus_belli
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/multitude
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/multitudinous
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/myriad
Regards.